Caffeine Addict Anon

THE BEGINNING TO AN END

2008-10-24T11:00:00.004+02:00

I'm married!!! Vegas was great and I loved every minute of getting to experience it with Matt my husband. But now that I'm soon to be moving to the UK to be with Matt.. I think, that in the spirit of new beginnings it's time to bring this blog to an end.

It seems fitting that a new blog is needed to chronicle my adventures as a newly honest slut so fear not readers; I will still be around but just at a new address. It's been great fun recording the misadventures belonging to my single life and most notably - it brought me and my husband together!!

Thanks for all the good times and hope to see you at my new spot which I will hopefully begin updating more regularly in the new year once life has settled down a bit www.honestslutchronicles.blogspot.com

Twinks

GETTING MARRIED

2008-07-29T14:33:00.003+02:00

So Matt and I are getting married! What does this mean to you my lack of faithful readers? Probably absolutely nothing... but to me - lots! It is perhaps rushed and not in the usual order of things and since going public with the news I've discovered goes against the grain of a lot people (even those who I always perceived to be much freer thinkers, but I digress).

In considering this decision retrospectively I know these 2 things to be true:

1) I knew from the beginning when Matt and I started to get close that it would end this way and
2) If I try and consider an alternative, there is none!

So you see it's the right thing to be doing and I know that things are gonna be great once we're properly together and sharing the same zip code (at last)! I feel I should add that, after rereading everything I've said so far, it reads almost like I'm trying to justify getting married - but this is hardly the case!

In the last few months I've become very familiar with the notion that it's one thing to decide you're gonna do something and quite another making it actually happen. Starting a long distance relationship, then deciding to move abroad and then deciding to get married whilst only seeing each other for a few precious moments inbetween is one of the harder things I've ever done. And, one which fortunately most people can't relate to as I wouldn't wish it on anyone unnecessarily.

But I can tell you this much; it is these 2 thoughts listed above that get me through.

2008-07-07T16:40:00.003+02:00

I know it doesn't count much in the way of a post but it was my honey's birthday yesterday and seeing as we call each other honey - I couldn't resist!

BIBLE BASHERS

2008-06-05T13:47:00.003+02:00

I'm all for people to practice their own religious beliefs but when they try to force said beliefs on me then I start having a problem...which brings me to my point. Lately one of my sisters has taken to mail bombing me with some pretty hardcore religious email. You know the kind; 'pass this on if you love the lord', 'do you pass the test? I got 100%!' and the like.

Judge me if you will but my personal belief is that if there is a god then he's sitting up there laughing his ass off at his so-called "followers". I mean really, if god created humor would he really want people to take him so seriously? And if god created us to be independent and have choices would he really appreciate all the needy drivel about him being the only way? And if god was such a loving and forgiving god would he really condone all that shite that so-called christians spout about all the non-believers going straight to hell? (I say so-called because I have huge issue with those wife-beaters who go to church every Sunday and have the audacity to prop themselves up with self righteousness and judge others because it's okay - they're a 'Christian'...f*ckers!)

I guess what I'm saying is that I find it a waste that we were given the ability to think for ourselves yet so many people chose to accept the stuff that in most cases is droned into us as kids about the bible and religion. I think if god had known that so many would just blindly follow what ever we were told like sheep he would have saved himself the trouble and hit snooze on days 5-7.

CRAZY IS AS CRAZY DOES

2008-05-26T14:25:00.003+02:00

You know we all have our crazy days - well, at least I'd like to think so - but this one makes me worried... Lately I've been a little forgetful. You know, walking into the other room and once there forgetting what I came for or forgetting people's names, birthdays, where I work etc etc. This kinda thing I regard as pretty normal, BUT forgetting to rinse one's hair after washing it and sitting through an entire hour of television then only realising that something's wrong whilst trying to blowdry one's hair and it's sticking to the back of your hand as you try to dry it...well that I consider a little effed up!

So there I was with my sticky hair when I finally twigged what I had done and I had to go rinse my hair out under the basin tap. I swear I was embarrassed to know myself; I think I may have even heard the cat stifle a giggle! I can't wait for Matt to get here in 2 weeks - clearly I am due for a break!

2008-05-20T17:26:00.003+02:00

If my blog were a garden it wouldn't kick anyone's ass at the moment, infact it would probably be overgrown with weeds! As Avatar from Overworked and Underf*cked is always saying, one of the most annoying blogger habits is blogging about why you're not blogging but unfortunately I have no other news other than what's going on in my life at the moment.

Sad but true! I've been busy pressing on with all the things that I need to do to move overseas and unsurprisingly there is a sh*tload! I am going out with the girls on Thursday night and I'm looking forward to getting toffed up and looking fab **just because I can*** I deeply suspect that lots of whiskey will be consumed and I will end up staying out later than I intended and if its a really good night possibly even pushing on to somewhere else for a spot of dancing around our handbags and fending off wannabe dance partners.

This is a hope I'm clinging to at the moment because I really need the break from reality - things have gotten a bit too real lately and I'm looking forward to checking out for a few blissful hours... I may or may not blog about it on Friday depending how my hangover feels so if I don't have a good weekend!

IMMORTALITY

2008-05-13T13:54:00.005+02:00

Good news everybody! If this poster is true then I'm gonna live forever! Hehehe... I'm not actually gonna launch into a huge tirade and bitch and moan about something in particular I'm just feeling a bit grumpy today is all. I've woken up tired the last few days and feel a bit run down and like I have a bit of a cold. I think I need to go back on the detox... I'm reading the book at the moment and they say that when you get sick it's the body's way of getting toxins out of you so perhaps I haven't done it enough.

In other news the girl I work with has resigned so that brings about some changes at work but I'm not really fussed cause soon it will be my turn to leave! Yay! Plans seem to be getting somewhere with me going to Norway and I am relieved as I think it was stressing both me and Matt out trying to figure things out before. Now I just need to pack up my shit, sell some of my shit, quit my job, sell my car and fly me and my cat overseas...

POST ON THE RUN

2008-05-09T15:31:00.002+02:00

I realised today it's been almost 2 months since I gave up coffee now! And I'm feeling so much better for it! No more battling to fall asleep at night then waking up feeling like I've been hit by a bus! I only wish I had realised sooner what it was doing to me!

Gotta run but will post more next week! Have a good weekend all! ~Twinks

2008-05-06T16:38:00.005+02:00

I got a nice surprise yesterday - Matt sent flowers for no good reason AND he managed to keep it a secret from me! They really are lovely and I knicked a few of them to keep on my desk, so I get to enjoy them at home and at work, but I must say I would've lovvved some foreplay to go with it!!! As the days go by I seem to be getting hornier and hornier and phone sex is a poor substitute for the real deal!

I know Matt is getting really frustrated with things taking so long and I am equally upset that I can't just hop on a plane tomorrow and be with him but right now I'm just trying for small wins everyday to get closer to tying everything up over here. Although something to look forward to is that Matt is coming to visit early June which I am really excited about! I'm also looking forward to doing a few things we didn't get round to doing last time *grin* and making a certain naughty purchase that should ensure hours of coupled pleasure *double grin*

...Twinks

2008-04-21T16:51:00.003+02:00

Today I have nothing of major significance to post about and to be honest the picture is my inspiration for what I'm gonna talk about cause I am midst hiatus from both these things at the moment...

No food and no dick for Twinks!!!

One is by choice though - I've been doing the master cleanse as I've been on a health kick but wanted to take it to the next level. I know - it's an extreme one though!! I don't mind the lack of food too much, I'm finding the headaches and foggy headed feeling worse...not to mention the um, cleansing part of it! Let's just say regular has nothing on me at the moment and best leave it at that, lol

The lack of dick on the other hand is something I'm not happy about at all! I want to be with Matt and I want it NOW! I'm tired of waiting and I'm really hoping that some real advancements start happening soon in getting me over there! It hasn't helped my mood that I had to review my manager's performance last week and I had to have a little one-on-one with her today to go over why I didn't give her a perfect score... The irony of it is that she didn't exactly tell me I fart sunshine in my review so why so defensive when I gave a little back?!

And that's the worst thing about her to deal with - she may be a good few years older than me but that doesn't change that I find her to be an immature, spoiled, spotlight hungering, blonde idiot! We all openly laugh at how hard she tries to be 'in there' with the top dogs - I wish she would just get herself some pom-poms and do cheers for them cause then at least she would be being honest about it! Instead she talks about the big boss like she can't stand him behind his back to us then falls all over herself to try and please him when she's around him; of course he knows this and plays her all he can. It's pathetic. I just want to tell her to get a life and grow up but somehow I think this would not go down well!

2008-04-15T14:31:00.003+02:00

I forgot to mention that I won the little wager I had going with Matt. Incase you forgot; I said I would go one month without any coffee, Matt said he would go one month without eating cake. The writing was on the wall when he started asking if work cake was allowed; like eating cake at work makes it different and my prediction was spot on - he eventually succumbed to a dessert binge after enduring minimal ribbing from a client at a work dinner!

I on other hand have been going strong - I had one cup of coffee over the weekend seeing as Matt broke the bet first but the effects of it just weren't worth it so I am sticking to the no caffeine diet for the time being. So with the exception of the one time I have been 3 weeks caffeine free now and feeling better for it.

Now I'm just looking forward to my prize...Matt and I agreed that he would buy it but it's essentially something for us both which I can live with seeing as it looks like the best vibrator ever!!! Can't wait to try it!

PLAIN SAILING

2008-04-10T16:40:00.006+02:00

I apologise for not blogging more than I have lately...funny how much more you are inclined to post when things are going wrong or you have drama to write about. I think even past sexcapades fall into the latter category because it's ultimately a form drama when you're in the dating scene, cause let's be honest; your true agenda is to find someone that you can have sex with again not just a one nighter. Okay.. maybe to do other things like have oral sex as well but you get my point!

I've realised that I've started to change since Matt and I have been an item. It's all good change but I find myself not quite knowing what to do with myself some days - and here's the real paradox: I got used to the drama!! Yes, I know some of you reading this are probably exasperated right now thinking how can she complain about NOT having drama in her life! And they would be right - it's not something to complain about; it's just an adjustment is all I'm sayin'.

Perhaps it is time to develop my interests and hobbies beyond bitching and complaining on this blog. The sexcapades will continue once I move to be with Matt but I'm thinking those stories deserve their own blog, time for a new beginning perhaps. I'll give it some thought and get back to you but for now I leave you with this update: I am no longer moving to the UK but to Norway which is where Matt is working at the moment and we will probably be there for at least 6-8 months before moving back to the UK. The upside is that Matt's company have offered to help with my visa and finding me and job and my cat only has to do 4 months quarantine versus the 6 months he would do in the UK. We will probably also get some decent digs to stay in rent free which doesn't hurt either! Oh and I am still caffeine free, it's almost 2 weeks now and I feel good.

Life is grand!!!

...yeah, I puked a little in my own mouth too when I wrote that but good is something this cynic is gonna have to get used to it would seem. In an unrelated thought - how cute are the shoes on the girl in the pic? Red heels on black shoes, nice...Twinks likes!!

CAFFEINE HIATUS

2008-04-02T15:17:00.003+02:00

Sadly this caffeine addict has chosen to forsake her addiction for the time being. One month to be exact.. I know! Caffeine Addict Anon with no coffee? Strange days indeed! But I made the decision to do a bit of a detox after putting on a kilo or two while Matt was here and every doctor I have ever seen for sinus troubles has encouraged me to lay off the caffeine so here I am.

I also made a bet with Matt that he would give up cake for a month until his mate's wedding and I would lay off the caffeine until then as well. Personally I think I have better odds than he does cause he keeps looking for loopholes in the deal like work cake not counting as cheating!

I now wish I had made it into a more formal bet cause my odds of winning are looking pretty good from where I'm standing...

MOVING A BROAD

2008-03-31T10:39:00.003+02:00

I have decided to move to the UK, partly to be with Matt and also in search of better career prospects cause things are downright depressing at the moment on the work front and I don't see it getting any better anytime soon! I'm also keen to get away from the crime and the challenges that come with living in a third world meets first world country before things get any worse. As you can imagine folding up ones entire life and sorting through all the sh*t that I've accumulated and moving to another country is no easy feat but I'll get there!

In other news I'm super tired today - I think I'm still recovering from the wedding I went to this weekend. My friend and I ended up smoking some maryjane before and after the wedding ceremony then again during the reception...mix that with copious amounts of free plonk and you can see how things went a little pear shaped! I was a little disconcerted by one thing that happened - a friend of mine is always giving her boyfriend a hard time about how flirty he is with other girls and I've always looked on and felt a bit sorry for him but after dancing with him on Saturday night I found out first hand what she means - she wasn't around and whilst nothing inappropriate happened I just felt he was a bit too attentive in a way that seemed suggestive. I'm not gonna say anything about it but I just wonder which came first - was he always like this or is it a case of he may as well do what he's being accused of? People are weird! I think I'm gonna sleep with my eyes open for a bit now...later, Twinks

IT MUST BE LOVE

2008-03-27T12:47:00.006+02:00

You know how I know that I love Matt? Yesterday as we were having our last roll in the hay before he left I bent down to kiss him and ended up with one of his boogers in my mouth and didn't freak out at all! Well, not verbally anyways but there may have been an 'ewwwwwww' running through my mind. He left last night and it was very bittersweet - I'm super sad not having him around anymore; it's just not the same not having his sh*t all around the place or having him to talk to, sleep with, f*ck and kiss.... the cat even seemed a bit forelorn this morning as he seemed to have taken to having Matt feed him (must be a male bonding thing, lol) The only upside is that my apartment is a bit tidier as there isn't much space for two people but that's a poor consolation prize really.

Anyway I promised some juice and here's a tidbit for you: I mentioned previously that Matt hadn't had any outdoor lovin' before and I'm pleased to say that I popped that cherry in our communal pool while he was here. We decided to take a swim one warm evening and I suggested he slide inside me - it's really quite easy to get away with as long as you don't thrash around too much! We took it to the bedroom fairly quick though as there are just too many people wondering around my complex but it was good. Matt also had his first trip to a sex shop and I think I created a monster as he seems very keen to expand our collection so I'm sure there will be more stories to tell at some point...grin.

FALLEN SLUT

2008-03-25T13:58:00.006+02:00

It's official: I'm in love. My guy leaves tomorrow to go home and it's going to be rough; very rough, but we've had an amazing holiday together and as you may have guessed enjoyed a good few evenings of "early to bed and late to sleep" which has left me rather tired and this a rather boring post but I promise to fill you in on a few of the high points soon...

2008-03-12T08:35:00.003+02:00

Sorry that I have not blogged in a while, I have been travelling for work quite a bit lately and then had my birthday celebrations over this weekend. Now only 2 days to go before the guy gets here and I go on leave for about 10 days which I am really looking forward to... as the picture suggests!

SASSY!

2008-03-04T17:46:00.005+02:00

How cute are these Wink posters? I like the fact that most of them use sassy redheads as well, as I consider myself to one feisty redheaded package myself!

For the more perverse readers: to answer the question that's probably racing through your mind right about now; yes - I am a true redhead although I prefer the hedge on my landing strip to be non existent thank you very much. And yes, I do like to think that I'm good in bed as the saying goes...

I also have to admit to being a bit jealous - how hot are the curves on the pinup girl in this poster? If I had a penis or even a penchant for donning a strap-on I'd totally fantasize about doing her!

OUTDOOR ACTIVITY

2008-03-03T16:31:00.004+02:00

I quite enjoy the occasional outdoor romp and I must say I am looking forward to giving it a go with the guy in my life when he is here in 10 days (yay!)

It will be his first time and I'm rather looking forward to popping that cherry ;)

2008-02-27T14:35:00.002+02:00

Lately I seem to be falling into this habit of getting out the bath and chatting to my special person in bed with nothing but a towel on - I think he would appreciate this picture...

So much on the go at the moment, I'm travelling round the country to 4 of our branches over the next 2 weeks, visiting my dad in the country this weekend, celebrating my birthday the next and thennnn my special person is here for one whole week of pure, unadulterated, fun! What were you thinking? Tsk tsk!

Okay okay, you're right, it's me and I will definitely be testing my riding crop out and perhaps even getting to live out some of my other fantasies...

Can't. Wait!

OFFICE SEX

2008-02-21T15:33:00.004+02:00

If you've been reading this blog for a long time you will have noticed that I have a rather active imagination and when it comes to sex I'm more than willing to indulge this kind of thinking...

I've had the whole office sex on the boss's desk fantasy quite a few times but recently this has been more frequently on my mind with one particular person in mind. I'd love to be able to kneel infront of him and give him the sextratary spit and shine special then be bent over the desk ***to receive my punishment***

One needs to consider the practicalities of the situation if you intend to do it and fortunately I am a practical waste not / want lots kinda girl so I reckon its a good thing that I like to swallow...and I'm rather fond of dressing the part so hopefully it won't be long before I get to tick this one off 'my list' ;)

2008-02-20T16:31:00.005+02:00

I have always preferred to have a few close friends that I know I can entrust my life to rather than being one of those people who has plenty of acquaintances so they always have someone on standby to entertain them. I think one of the things that goes along with this mentality is that I am slow to warm to people but once you're in, you're pretty much in for life. I don't know why I'm telling you this cause this isn't really my point but it does tie into the fact that I don't just randomly hand out praise to anyone, acknowledgement from me is something that is well earned and deserved - which brings me to my point (at last):

There is a special person in my life who I have mentioned previously but more and more lately I am just amazed at his ability to blow me away with the things that he says and the person that he is. I think I'm a pretty darn fantastic person myself, and fairly well endowed in the brains department, but I also know greatness when I see it and this guy has it bucket loads. I just love being around him and listening to the things he has to say. He's wise, caring, selfless, intelligent, funny, passionate and I just know there's even more to come!

The only thing I could fault him on is that his spelling sometimes sucks and it gets even worse late at night but that's about all I can muster... And if spelling is as bad as it gets then this I know for sure - I am one lucky woman!

Twinks

Place holder

2008-02-19T16:51:00.003+02:00

I'm sorry for the lack of posts but I don't have much to say besides gushing on and on about how happy I am at the moment. Things are shifting into place nicely and well, it's rather nice not having any juicy stories to tell for a change although I'm sure I will soon... 24 days to be exact!

For starters I will have my riding crop initiation story to tell you all...from what I hear you can't have a spanking without the oral s*x so I'm sure it'll be a good one ;-)

Oh and to the newcomers who have been reading my blog lately - I wish you would comment! Twinks

IT'S FRIDAY!!!

2008-02-15T12:40:00.003+02:00

Hometime can't come soon enough! I can't believe how tired I am lately... may have something to do with some late nights and for some reason I keep waking up around 5.30 in the morning so I am looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow!

Nothing much else to report so I leave you with some of these Cyanide and Happiness strips - love them! They're so sick that it becomes funny and they certainly help to get me through the week. Enjoy!

Happy Valentines Day!

2008-02-14T09:02:00.002+02:00

29 days..that's all I'm gonna say!

AN OPEN LETTER

2008-02-13T16:07:00.004+02:00

It's hard to believe that its only been about two and a half weeks since our friendship became more than just that after almost 3 years of knowing each other. And, that in just over a week later you had booked your ticket to come over here next month... its even weirder knowing we have already had some ups and downs.

You need to know though that I know it is all going to be okay. I think the scientist in you feels you need validation for statements like that to be true but that is where we are different; I don't need confirmation as I just know and trust it to be true, I hope someday you might start to see things that way too.

I also want you to know that when things go wrong I don't need you to go to great lengths to make it up to me or elaborate explanations of why you did it, I just need you to say you're sorry and after a few days spent in my cave I'll come back out forgiving you cause I know you didn't mean it as long as you give me the same benefit when I screw up and although it hasn't happened yet, trust me - it will!

Oh and that thing I said, I meant it but I'm not so sure I will feel okay about saying it again anytime soon. THAT will be up to you.

2008-02-11T16:08:00.000+02:00

I thought this was too funny and I think in the past it has certainly held true. However, I'm delighted to say that this is not a problem for me anymore..

That is all.
Twinks

2008-02-08T15:38:00.000+02:00

Life has certainly taken a fair few twists for me in the last 2 weeks. I've gone from being freakishly unattached to semi-attached, from thinking about moving cities to thinking about moving countries, from just having fun to contemplating things a lot more seriously.

And, I'm surprisingly okay with it all which is something in itself cause as some of you may have figured by now I have always travelled extremely light! It seems for the moment that some things are starting to fall into place although it does make me somewhat restless to contemplate all this change without being able to do anything about it at present, but patience won the war as they say and I suppose that is another life lesson as patience has never been my strong point-lol

HAPPY THOUGHTS

2008-02-06T17:51:00.000+02:00

I don't know why but I was suddenly reminded of that scene in Hook where Peter learns to fly again by remembering his happy memory. Perhaps it's telling about what I'm about to say, perhaps not - perhaps I'm just rambling whilst trying to gather my thoughts, lol

Get on with it I hear someone in the back growling so yeah, I've been conversing with a fellow blogger and those conversations have somehow led to more. A lot more infact; the past week has been a whirlwind of intensity but luckily a few serious topics have come up to keep us (somewhat) grounded. Knowing me as you do there may have been a few heated moments mixed in there but I'm not telling!

I know this sounds a bit ambiguous but I am purposefully not going to go into it yet, all I can say is this: he makes me happy in a way I don't quite know how to explain but I feel it is something to be grateful for and I do feel very lucky right now and am very much looking forward to seeing where this ends up.

SLUTTY EIGHT

2008-02-04T09:55:00.001+02:00

So in a month's time I will be turning 28 or 'slutty eight' as I've come to affectionately think of it - I've decided if I'm gonna get older I may as well have some fun with it!

I am still debating what I am going to do but I imagine it will be dinner with the friends somewhere, still tossing around ideas. As for what I want, world peace is always on my list but somehow I'm always disappointed! I can't exactly
ask my mom to buy me a corset either and she freaked out a bit when I told her I wanted the sex and the city complete box set at christmas so somehow I think I'm not getting that either..(my mom is a bit of the uptight, god fearing church goer type which may explain a few things).

The safe option I've decided is to stick with CDs so that is what I will be asking the family for. But, should you be a philanthropist reading this blog and you'd like to support the Twinkle Star Adopt-A-Slut Project here are some of the things I wouldn't mind either:

Nine West patent handbag

And if you're gonna get me this it goes without saying you may as well get me the matching shoes....

I can't have the fabulous bag and shoes and smell bad so I'd need some perfume too:

I know what you're thinking - what good is having a fabulous handbag, gorgeous shoes and nice perfume if you have nothing to wear with it but don't worry - I'm way ahead of you; true religion jeans in boot cut please cause I pack some booty and need to balance it out a bit:

At this point you're probably asking yourself "can that be all Twinks? Surely you can't be that modest!" so only because you insist, you can also get me this Hermes scarf!

Before any of you pervy types start mailing me looking for sex in exchange for lavish gifts, you should know; send a pic ;-)

SPANK ME

2008-02-01T16:33:00.000+02:00

So I've given it some thought and I've decided I'm not averse to the idea of letting someone use my riding crop on me... I think I will just have to make sure they go first so I can hit harder when it's my turn though :)

That is all. Have a good weekend!

2008-01-31T13:57:00.000+02:00

It's been one of those days where the weather is just so amazing, there aren't any urgent deadlines so the girls and I went out for a spot of impromptu shopping. We started off at a wholesale store and ended up at Score where I got myself a proper riding crop! Yay!!

It looks just like the one Betty Page has in the picture above - I'm so excited to use it! Any volunteers? :)

OUT OF ORDER

2008-01-30T09:18:00.000+02:00

Uhhh, yeah so um I mentioned that I had a bit of a bladder infection right...well, um it started to clear up a bit but abstinence has never been my strong point and I eventually caved in and knocked one out making my bladder infection flare up all over again :(

On top of that my aunt flow came to town this morning so I'm not exactly a happy camper at the moment so business is temporarily suspended down there... Apparently mom was right and masterbation CAN be bad for you, so kids - do as I say and not as I do!

RANDOM

2008-01-29T14:10:00.000+02:00

Why is it that the minute you forget about boys they all want a piece of you? I had a pretty shitty run last year what with 30 going on 13 boy, restaurant guy who (his words) asked me if he could "have a little finger up his butt-butt" and then of course there was the random wedding hook up who still had his childhood duvet cover on his bed with posters of supermodels stuck up with prestick in his bedroom and the encyclopedia of body building next to his bed...ew, eww and ewww!!!

This year what with the atmosphere being so tempestuous at work and my inability to figure what to do with my life before I end up stuck here and getting a gold watch at 60; guys just haven't really fit into my agenda. And that's the amusing part cause suddenly they all wanna know me from co-workers to friends to my middle aged over friendly neighbor and of course the usual barrage of notifications from horny facebook wannabe romeos. (Aside: what the heck is up with all these guys with their full beards, fishing hats and the obligatory picture of them somewhere in the outback with their safari suits and a beer or a fishing rod in hand. Like, if it hasn't worked for you yet why would you think it will now???)

Anyway I do have a point and it's this: the nice thing about this is I just don't have the time or the inclination to get caught up in it like I probably would have in the past which is kinda liberating! Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say no to a relationship should a worthwhile one come my way but I also don't mind if it doesn't.

Besides I've had enough booty in the past to be able to separate the men from the boys and trust me there have been far more boys than men!!! Boys only hold their appeal for so many shags before it gets boring and I'm so over them this year...real men are so hot right now!! Boys are just so last season, lol

2008-01-28T09:29:00.000+02:00

Considering how crap last week was I have to say my weekend turned out pretty awesome in comparison! I left work early on Friday as I was seething after finding out that the colleague I mentioned in my previous post actually dropped me way worse than he intimated to me. Apparently his words to our CEO were "if you want to know what's going in our department you just have to ask Twinks after she's been for a smoke with Sheri" (his manager). This he used as leverage to negotiate his retrenchment package so essentially he used me. In retrospect I realise I wasn't careful enough with what I said to him as he obviously figured opinions I voiced to him were informed ones. I'm just really upset that Sheri has gotten into trouble over this whole thing and unfortunately I have learned the hard way that the old adage is true; there just is no such thing as friends in business.

But anyway back to the weekend - I left work early and met up with a supplier to celebrate the completion of our big project and hit back a good few gin and tonics over too many cigarettes and girl talk at the local. Eventually I dragged my slightly drunk ass home and became one with the couch. I was pretty depressed over the whole work thing on Saturday morning and didn't really do much besides watch more TV, read and facebook but eventually I got my sorry ass into gear and got ready to go see Atonement with boy. Only problem was once there, we discovered that Atonement wasn't showing yet so we settled on The Darjeeling Limited instead. Before we went to see the movie I needed to go to the pharmacy as I had a bit of a bladder infection and we had a good laugh at this teenager deliberating over buying condoms and the funniest part was we kept running into him and his little girlfriend that evening with his pockets bulging with condoms - too funny! The movie was excellent and afterwards boy and I went for a drink which seems to be becoming a routine, lol

I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation, we took a bit of a departure from the mainly s*x driven conversations of before and boy told me a lot about his past, which, whilst different from my own I do find a lot of parrallels between them and I think we also share similar views on spirituality, all of which I really appreciate about him and I find that whenever we do something together I always end up enjoying myself. Afterwards I realised that by the end of the evening I had forgotten all about the sh*t that's been going on at work which was nice.

Sunday turned out to be a very full day - started off with breakfast and a catch up with a good friend then I met my sister for some light shopping (got myself a dust buster and had great fun testing it out this morning to the distress of my cat!) After shopping I met up with another friend for drinks at the Beach Cafe which is right on the beachfront and eventually made my way home slightly tipsy yet again (seems to be becoming a habit!) but not before going grocery shopping - so much more fun when you've had a few drinks!!

In the end I think the weekend was everything I needed it to be, the colleague who caused all the drama leaves at the end of the week so hopefully the dust will start to settle on this whole sorry mess and I can put my focus back to where it needs to be; finding another job and coming to some concrete answers about what I want to do with my life!

THE END OF A LONG ASS WEEK!

2008-01-25T13:18:00.000+02:00

Thank f*ck the week is over! It's been one of the longest everrrrr!! I feel like I could use some shrooms after the week I've had!!! I've been working on a major campaign at work that unsurprisingly involved more work than anyone anticipated but of course that didn't change my delivery date. And, to make matters worse once I got started I realised that the info supplied by my supplier was a bit of a balls up so I got to fix her mistake on top of that! Just peachy! I worked like a woman possessed until 7pm every night this week to get this done and it didn't help when relations got a bit rough at work after a colleague dropped me in an argument with the boss making me look like a snitch!

I've also been seeing a therapist to try and figure out what to do with my career as I've realised I'm not doing what I want to be doing but I'm not sure how to go about changing careers when all my studies and work experience have been geared in a specific direction and it also isn't helping that my dad is putting pressure on me to go to Australia and live his dream but I digress.

I had a pretty hectic session with her yesterday cause as is to be expected part of the process is going through my past and talking about the crap that happened to me as a kid. Whilst I did go through some pretty crappy times growing up I don't like to dwell on it, but yesterday she pushed me pretty hard to talk about it all and it left me feeling really drained last night on top of working late so tonight I plan to do sweet f*ck all and then tomorrow I'm going to see Atonement which I'm really looking forward to seeing at long last!!! Have a good weekend all, Twinks x

THE TROUBLE WITH GETTING LAID

2008-01-17T18:42:00.000+02:00

The trouble I have with getting laid is that once I get it again it's all systems go for more and I find myself just constantly wanting to screw! Take today for instance, I was standing and bending over my desk when I realised my ass was in the air and before I know it I'm imagining getting f*cked from behind...

Then there's the recent s*x flashbacks - remembering positions, things that turned me on, getting cummed on...they all have the combined effect of making me h*rny all over again! This week alone I must've taken care of business every night and every morning, heck, I won't be surprised if soon I get caught knocking one out in the ladies' at work!! (No not really you perves who are already imagining walking into the wrong stall 'by accident' a la p*rno!)

Sigh. I wish someone would just make an honest sl*t out of me - if for nothing else than to have someone to f*ck me everynight instead of relying on my battery operated boyfriend all the time!! Pout!

JUST CALL ME MISTRESS

2008-01-16T12:33:00.000+02:00

After my weekend I've kinda latched onto the idea of being the one in charge - my friends tell me I'm discovering what they've known all along, what can I say apparently it just comes naturally to me!! One of the things that has my sordid little mind deeply intrigued is the outfits that go with being the 'top'- now I'm not talking about the sleazy shiny patent shite favoured by cheap p*rn stars but rather the prettier fantasy variety like these:

Just imagine one of these with suspenders, whore heels and a lace mask like the one pictured above and me with my riding crop! Mmmmmm, I could even go in for this one:

Hot!!I want!!! I can totally see myself screaming 'kiss my toes worm' wearing this :)

The weekend in highlights

2008-01-14T10:46:00.000+02:00

Friday, 11 January 2008
- Twinks sees We Own the Night movie at last and enjoys it.
- Pays way for boy after he 'forgets' his wallet at home (thought only us girls did that sort of thing? lol)
- Has interesting conversation over drinks about life, s*x and the time she enjoyed whipping a bunch of boys at a party once (a post of it's own)
- boy and Twinks eventually part ways with a frisson of sexual tension hanging between them, suggestive text messages are exchanged on the way home...
- Twinks gets home and eventually takes matters into own hands (so to speak!)

Saturday, 12 January 2008
- Twinks wakes up and gets message from boy inviting her to dinner - she accepts.
- Spends morning reading about BDSM and her trashy romcom novel involving lesbian s*x, eventually goes shopping to find a top to match her whore heels that evening.
- Later gets ready and at the risk of looking presumptuous, packs an overnight bag.
- Arrives at restaurant and meets up with boy, appreciates when he admits he was a bit nervous - makes her feel less nervous!
- Twinks and boy chat some more about life, love, s*x and religion with some rather animated and passionate rants about the injustices of society from his side (lol)
- boy mentions that he went shopping at Adult World earlier that day and Twinks is intrigued, she pushes for details but is told to wait and see for herself.
- Eventually Twinks gets tired and suggests that it's time to go, they arrive at boy's house; boy pours wine and as promised shows her the toys he bought.
- They start making out on the couch but for the sake of comfort they take it to the bedroom.
- A round of subdued first-time-getting-to-know-each-other s*x is had shortly followed by one of the best orgasms from being fingered...
- In heat of said moment she caves in after his persistent earlier requests to give him her blog address and tells him she will give it to him (seduced me into that one just like a wartime spy dammit!!!)
- The down time between shags is spent with him showing her his second life and her showing him her blog (yes he is probably reading this)
- Eventually they retire back to bed where Twinks ties him up and takes some rather incriminating photos of boy tied up in only his jocks and a rubber whip stuck between his ass cheeks (I'm currently open to bribes - any takers?)
- Tests whip out on boy for a bit, bites each of his bum cheeks leaving some semi-permanent teeth marks and then gives him the house special (sorry - if you want to know what the house special is, you'll have to take me to dinner).

(My memory gets fuzzy here, I blame the wine - no I'm not getting old - but I think more s*x follows then we go to sleep after I pluck some of his grey chest hairs for him - such a metro male!).

- Twinks wakes up and a peak out the window suggests that it is early morning. Round about 5am...which, as we know is Twinks' favourite time for...you guessed it! Early morning-half-asleep s*x! (yay)
- As expected it was good, Twinks falls back asleep and wakes up when boy gets up out of bed.
- They hang around watching TV, Twinks plucks more of boy's grey chest hairs as there are many of them, as well as his stray old man curling eyebrow hairs and even the odd stray hairs on his back (I did voice a thought that we looked like grooming monkeys).
- Eventually they shower and get dressed for the day and resume watching TV.
- boy offers (actually was ordered) to massage Twinks' shoulders which she thoroughly enjoyed and as boy pointed out, possibly too much...especially when it turned into an all over massage :)
- Twinks returns favour by biting and twisting boy's nipples (don't feel sorry for him, the dirty old man enjoys it) but follows up the pain with kind kisses and licking his nipples all better.
- boy pays Twinks in kind by violently scratching her back and administering a few wanton slaps to her behind and even the odd pulling of her hair (which was justly rewarded with more nipple twisting!).
- As it does things got to the point where furniture was being used for leverage and boy was on his knees where he belongs.
- Matters were taken to the bedroom when Twinks suggested they try out one of the c*ck-rings that boy bought and some very enjoyable probing and testing ensued.
- By then it was getting late and boy needed to be somewhere so they hopped in the shower where Twinks got to groom boy some more but was rewarded with another massage which was rather awesome with all that hot water beating down on her at the same time.
- And then they were off - boy went to play poker (and won I'm told, which I am convinced he owes to the lucky bite marks on his bum that I gave him but he seems unconvinced) and Twinks went home to couch and recover.

To sum up the events: it was a good weekend!

2008-01-08T10:14:00.000+02:00

I got to thinking in the 3 hours I lay awake in the wee hours of this morning - it's been forever since I had a good makeout session. This probably has to do with the company I've kept in the last year or 2; none of the guys I've dated in that time have been real relationship material rather they were more along the lines of flings and whilst I find it's rather easy to have weekend long f*ckfests, kissing on the other hand is way more intimate and I'd have to say bl*wjobs too. I don't think I'm alone here, I know plenty of girls who say that screwing is way less intimate that what goes on in our mouths but I digress.

There's something about a good kiss that at times can be way more gratifying than s*x; I've been able to come from kissing alone before when it was really good. A really good kiss for me can becomes a whole body sensation like no other but all too often and plenty of my girlfriends agree, men rush through it as a means to getting laid which is a real pity. Don't get me wrong; the quicky and the f*ckathon have their place but sometimes its awesome to have a long, slow build up with no set agenda....

I don't know where I'm going with all this except to say I miss it. And a good shag with lots of kissing would be nice.

Happy new year!

2008-01-07T14:27:00.000+02:00

That's about all the enthusiasm I can muster at this point in time. Things at work are badddd... I just found out last week that I didn't get the job I was shortlisted for in my city and I didn't get the one in Cape Town cause they felt I wasn't experienced enough.

This would be okay if it weren't for the fact that in a year's worth of job hunting these were the only decent prospects I could come up with as I am stuck in a major catch 22 - all the positions I've applied for in Durban have instantly asked me what salary I'm looking for and told me that I'm earning more than they're offering and all the ones that are paying around what I'm earning say I'm under qualified...which means I'm stuck where I am until I figure what to do.

And that's the straw breaking my back back because I hate it here! My boss is a motor-mouthed, information hoarding, glory chasing, immature douche bag and it is destroying my soul coming to work for her everyday. My position is mid-senior but she hoards information so much that I have practically become her glorified secretary, seriously mind numbing stuff which I feel doesn't even justify the money I earn anymore. When she was on maternity leave I ran this department and now that she's back she's trying to prove her worth by hoarding the work and giving me the scraps...such bad management!

And the company is also in trouble so they're trying to make me sign a performance contract with figures that we will never achieve built into it, thereby making it very easy to fire me for non performance if it comes down to the wire...which makes me want to get out of here even more but then I am faced with the afore mentioned predicament yet again.

Sigh. Anyone looking for a maid with benefits? lol

2007-12-14T13:09:00.000+02:00

Today is my last day of work before I go on leave for the holidays so I might not post until I get back in Jan but I'll be online to comment and stalk YOUR blogs!! Have a great Christmas everyone and be safe!

See ya soon,
Twinks x

2007-12-11T16:02:00.000+02:00

I was gonna kill the mood of the post a bit and go into the physiological details of my absent libido for the last 2 years but suffice it to say it's back at long f*king last!! I am soooo horny today old men are looking attractive, well as long as they bang me from behind and I don't have to look at them anyways ;)

I'm so horny infact that, had my car had tinted windows I would have seriously considered taking care of business on my way home from my meeting today but had to content myself like a teenager with some light friction from the inside seam of my jeans, lol

Now let's hope my renewed interest brings a worthy playmate my way AND SOON!

2007-12-10T08:54:00.000+02:00

One of my favorite things is waking up really early and having a semi conscious shag, I think what makes it so good is that in that moment when the world is quiet and the day's activities haven't yet begun to race through your mind, we're probably at our most uncomplicated freeing us up to enjoying the moment more...

This is one of those things that I miss about being in a relationship. I try not to dwell on being alone too much but I have my moments; like when the cat has brought yet another rat into the house and disembowelled it on my white fluffy rug it'd be nice not to have to be the one to always clean it up, to have someone else take charge for a change.

Whilst I'm pretty driven professionally, on my own time I've come to realise that I'm not very good at this living alone thing. I don't look after myself, I don't eat properly and keeping things in order is a monumental task for me. I need people around me to keep me motivated, I need someone to hussle me out of bed (post early morning shag of course) and to cajole me into getting an early start to the day - I hate doing things by myself.

All of this is rather ironic really - I grew up vowing never to become my mother and set out from early age to be viciously independent so that I would never fall victim to her fate of being so dependent. I've come to realise that the opposite end of the spectrum ain't so fun either, I need to balance my life out but for me it's one of life's biggest challenges.

I've often felt genuinely jealous of people who are complacent with their lot in life - ignorance is bliss as they say and I guess the catalyst for everything that I've just said is that I feel like I need a break from always pushing forward. Trying to get ahead in my career, trying to keep a presentable home, trying to study, trying to have some form of a social life...it's all rather tiring. But I go on christmas leave at the end of this week so hopefully the break will do me some good.

RUMBLINGS FROM THE ABYSS

2007-12-03T11:42:00.000+02:00

If you've come to enjoy reading upbeat sex and the city type posts here lately I'm afraid this post isn't for you. Instead I'll be taking a detour in Moan Valley to complain about a few things....listed in order of importance below is what's on my mind:

1) Workwise I've applied for 2 great positions but they're taking FOREVER to come back to me. One I applied for in August and they made me go for a pyschometric assessment and then do a case study for my 2nd interview and they're still keeping me hanging...sigh!

2) Due to some bad accounting my budget was way out after I transposed 2 digits in my income figure which led me to believe I had more money than I actually did. Unfortunately I also had some extra cash in my account so I didn't realise until it was spent that ends just aren't meeting and now I'm in a spot of bother...

3) It's Christmas and point 2 above has severe implications in this regard which means I have to do xmas on credit which is really depressing

4) I want to move out of my apartment - I have a list of about 10 things that are wrong and need fixing and my landlord hasn't done a thing about it. I refuse to resort to fishwife like whining so as soon as 1 is sorted out I'm out of there!

5) 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 = no interest whatsoever in men at the moment which only compounds my frustration cause let's face it, there's nothing like a good rogering to take your mind off things and the abject boredom I'm facing at work at the moment is not helping either.

UPDATE: I just spoke to one of my friends and something that cheered me up was realising how normal my life is in comparison to some of the people I know - from drug abuse, messy breakups, rehab and threats to kidnap children I suppose my life ain't that bad after all :)

30 going on 13

2007-11-14T12:42:00.000+02:00

So a few weeks back after the wedding I blogged about previously I met this guy while we were out after the wedding reception. We went to one of my favourite Durban institutions; Bean Bag Bohemia and carried on drinking. My friend saw this guy who he went to high school with and they got chatting, before I knew it this guy and his friend had joined our table so there I was --the only single girl-- surrounded by 2 fags and 3 straight boys and it's obvious that everyone is wondering how is this gonna play out.

I had already made out with one of the guys from the wedding earlier - one of those 'cool nerd' types who knows he's nerdy looking and may as well go with it. I was so fargone drunk however that I was just having a good time having a laugh with the boys that I wasn't really looking to get lucky. I guess nerd boy eventually got tired of waiting and left but not before pressing a note with his number into my hand before he left with a smiley and a please DO call me above his number. Cute.

The 4 of us carried on drinking and talking shit but eventually it got so late we were asked to leave. I must have made an impression cause the one asked me for my number and called me at 4am when was getting into bed at home and invited me round to his place the next day for seafood. When I eventually woke up I had 2 text messages from him reminding me of our plans and telling me not to forget ---shoulda read the signs then! Anyway I felt so shite I sent him a message later asking for a rain check so he suggested the next night (Monday) but we finally settled on Tuesday.

So Tuesday finally arrived (with tons of phone calls and messages from him inbetween). As I got to the restaurant there he was sitting with a butternut carved into a flower with MY NAME ON THE SIDE OF IT!!!! I was kinda creeped out but after seeing how nervous he was and how hard he was trying I couldn't help but be flattered by all the attention. For our next date we went and saw a movie together that weekend and coffee at my place afterwards turned into a sleepover. The sex was good and by now the guy was starting to act really serious about me like that fact that we slept together meant that we were 'together' together. I ignored the warning bells (again) and went with it, enjoying having someone chase after me for a change.

We saw another movie together the following week and as I had other plans inbetween, we could only see each other again on the Sunday. Sunday came and he called to ask if I wanted to come over to his place, being on the rag I suggested we rather go out somewhere so we agree we'll go to lunch. Later he calls to confirm the time and asks me to come over and relax with him at his place; I was still hesitant and told him I wasn't keen to meet his roommates but he assured me no-one was there so eventually I agreed. I got in my car and made my way over there and as I got there he leaned into my car and uttered those dreaded words that made me stop dead in my tracks...

"I haven't been totally honest with you about who I live with"
"yes...."
"I live with my parents"
"but they're not here right?"
"yes they are, but please come in"
"what??? But I told you I didn't want to meet your parents!"(This was a conversation we had had when he told me he had already told his parents about me and I told him that's fine but I wouldn't be meeting them anytime soon).

"I didn't tell you because I was embarrassed that I live with my parents"
"So you thought lying to me would be better? AND I asked you if anyone was here so you lied to me twice!" I raved.
"I didn't think it would be such a big deal"
"You don't think lying to someone twice and manipulating them into meeting your parents is a big deal????"
"I'm sorry but please come in"
"No"
"Please" he pleaded.

I was so freaked out I couldn't say anything or even look at him, my mind was so busy racing with thoughts of how badly I had just been manipulated and the thought of his parents waiting inside to meet me...when it occurred to me that I really didn't need this shit in my life particularly over some guy who I just wasn't that into. So I told him I was leaving; he could come with me or stay but either way I was going. So he asked me to wait and ran back inside. He was gone so long I was about to drive off and leave him there when he came back out and hopped into my car. As I was driving, still fuming he tried to talk to me like nothing was wrong which only pissed me off even more.

I drove to the mall nearby and we went to a coffee shop where he had the audacity to try and defend his manipulation again by telling me he didn't understand what the big deal is, his parents are his best friends and he thought we would get along. That really did me in and I told him that manipulating me into coming over after I said I didn't want to meet them and I asked him if anyone would be there was a deal breaker for me; we could be friends but that's about it.

He took it pretty well and I haven't heard from him since! But yeah, like the title suggests this guy is like 30 going on 13 the way he acted. I didn't even get a chance to mention his god-awful taste in clothing (orange tie-dye and brown corduroys???) and his infantile antics like pretending to be pumping iron complete with arm movements, blowing face and sounds to explain to me that he had joined a new gym and planned to get back into shape. Then there was the laughing... I mean I'm all in favour of a good laugh but this guy started laughing hysterically AT THE ADVERTS when we went to the movies and when he found something really funny he would turn to me everytime as if looking for validation, which I rationalised as being sweet to myself at the time, but to be honest a guy who needs to be assured about himself that much is just wayyyy to much maintenance for me.

So my search for a real man continues! Sigh.

*Coming attraction: news on which job I land next - promises to be juicy!

Gays make me smarter!

2007-10-25T16:35:00.000+02:00

What is about gay men that brings my dazzling wit to the forefront? I took one of my boys with me to a wedding this weekend and we had us a fab ol' time! We were without a doubt the most tastefully dressed couple there and we kicked off the events to come by standing outside the churchyard drinking jack mixed with diet coke out of soda cans coupled with a double clutched cigarette before we rushed inside to see two more good people bite the dust.

Whilst waiting for the bride we had a gay ol' time critting all the skanky ho outfits right down to the downright ridiculous - there was a woman wearing boots, jeans and checkered shirt TO A WEDDING, AND she had a husband and kids...I give it 2 years before the poor guy comes home and finds her in bed with her best friend!

After the nuptials we made our way down to the reception at this place called uShaka Marine World which is an underground aquarium made to look like a sunken ship. Couldn't keep my gaypal away from the fish tanks so eventually I turn to him and say:

"What's up with your fascination with fish?"
"I love fish"
"Thought you'd be more into the eels, they're way more phallic" *I deadpanned.

So a while later as we were waiting for the speeches to start I remarked to my friend about how surprised I was at the kind of guy this one girl I know is married to (he's American) as I expected a girl like her to be with someone a bit jockier, so he says:

"Maybe it's the greencard"
"Or maybe he's loaded"
"Maybe he has a big penis"
"Well, either way I guess he's loaded"

To which we launched into convulsive *hysterics fuelled no doubt by the copious drinks we had now consumed on empty stomaches. After a few fancy twirls on the dancefloor later a couple of us made our way to one of our favourite spots where I proceeded to kiss one of the other wedding guests and meet this guy who was very into me....but that is a story for another day :)

* You may not find this funny, maybe you need to have been there - or maybe you should just try reading this drunk!

NOT GOOD

2007-10-17T17:19:00.000+02:00

I'm gonna make this short because I don't like to dwell on shit like this. Dealing with it, moving on and never looking back is more my style but here goes.

On Saturday night I made one of the worse judgement calls ever. I was boozing and late in the night I met this guy on the dance floor and we had a laugh together then ended up going outside and snogging.

So far so good but I decided I'd had enough of the place we were at and we ended up going for a drive somewhere else. We end up pulling off the road in this really secluded location. We start making out among other things and I actually came for the first time EVER with someone going down on me.

So still going good. Then after a bit we start fooling around again, he must've been really drunk cause he couldn't get it up so it was all about servicing me. No compliants here so he started again being really really gentle but applying more and more pressure with both his fingers and tongue. As I got closer and closer he started going harder and harder and I eventually came.

Now most guys get when you've come the party's over.

Not this guy.

He kept slamming his fingers into me and I swear he was trying to fit his entire fist in. All the while he's doing it faster and faster and harder and harder - all this in a matter of seconds I guess - and I started telling him to stop. I told him 3 times but he wouldn't. He's still going faster and faster and harder and harder and I reached this point where it became outright excruciating so I literally had to hit him 3 times before he would stop!

I was stunned, I knew what had just happened was just wrong - he had crossed the line and he knew it too. I started to cry and he just kept apologising over and over.I grew up in an abusive home, I know the drill: they beat you then they're all sorry and gentle and wanting your forgiveness. I just wanted to get the hell away from him so I said as little as possible, got my shit together and drove him back to the club and left him standing on the curb.

So yeah, NEVER putting myself in that position EVER again. In other news I have an exam on Friday so I will be away until next week but you can be sure I'll be stalking, sorry, reading your blogs via my phone!

A turn of events

2007-10-11T17:13:00.000+02:00

So Restaurant Man has come crawling back and Jen - you were right, the boy is clearly looking to get laid! I don't particularly mind though, in fact I've resolved to get my own of this cause if he wants it I'm gonna make him work for it...that's probably what he wanted to begin with.

Yes I know I sound jaded when I say this but I'm starting to believe there are a lot of boys out there who actually crave being treated like shit and don't know what to do with themselves when life presents them with a good, honest, straightforward woman. In RM's case he acted out and I'm gonna let him know that this kind of behaviour is unacceptable, won't be tolerated and will be rewarded with the equivalent of a kiddie's time out.

But back to the present, yesterday he sent me a few friendly text messages and when he stopped asking me questions I stopped answering him...lol Late in the afternoon today I sent him a message saying so sorry I didn't get back to you, I've been really busy etc etc and literally before I could get my finger off the typepad of my phone he had already responded!! Boohawahahaha

Today's messages were all rather leading but never to the point so he's clearly hoping I'll make the first move here. Unfortunately he's gonna be waiting a long time cause no way am I making the same mistake twice! So, one way or another we'll see what this boy's made of in the next few days.

I know this all sounds a bit calculated and stepford-ish which is usually not my style but given how far I put myself out there before only to get my fingers burnt, well, I'm thinking it's his turn to hold the matches.

You live, you learn

2007-10-01T09:19:00.000+02:00

If you've been reading this blog for quite some time, some of you may remember the Stake Out story about how I went this restaurant with a friend to go check out this guy I had a crush on. He wasn't there that time and after seeing him while I was out on my birthday I went there again with another friend but again he wasn't there.

So after giving it a lot of thought, about a month ago I took matters into my own hands and sent him a gift box of expensive treats with a note telling him to call me. He responded almost straight away with a text message thanking me and saying he was impressed and I have really great taste. We got texting and I played it very cool, sending a guy a gift like that says you're really interested and I didn't want to freak him out. I also think I'd done enough and any advances had to be made from his side cause we all know men like to work for it!

So we texted for about 3 days when he finally asked me out on a breakfast date. The morning of I got there on time and introduced myself to his friend who owned the restaurant and he arrived shortly after. We chatted and established a few things about each other then ordered breakfast and chatted some more. The conversation was easy and I think we were both enjoying ourselves, he was a real gentleman and poured all my drinks for me and tried to make me comfortable which I really appreciated. He also demonstrated a good sense of humor which scores big time in my books!

So anyway after breakfast and about 6 double espressos on his side (this caffeine addict couldn't keep up!) he asked me what I was doing for the rest of the day and seeing as we both had no real plans we decided to move on somewhere else. I suggested we go to this craft market close to where I stay so we dropped off my car and he drove us there. We walked around a bit and soon realised it was a crap idea so we walked to the mall close by and browsed a few stores together then made our way back to his car. He dropped me off and walked me in and when I got to my door he kissed me goodbye before leaving to work at his restaurant. Eek!

By now I was on cloud nine...things were going really well. Later we got texting each other again and by then his messages were starting to get rather flirty and suggestive. Wanting to take things a little further I suggested we meet up for a movie after he closed the restaurant and said that sounded good as long as he finished in time and that he'd let me know when he's done. I told him in the meantime I was gonna try to finish reading my Harry Potter book. Eventually at about 9pm I got tired of reading and seeing as I still had a long night ahead of me decided I'd go out to kill some time so I went to meet a friend at a restaurant for a drink then the girls asked me to join them a pub for a few drinks.

As I was on my way there he texted to ask if I was finished reading the book yet and I responded and told him I'd given it up and was on my way to meet the girls and to let me know if we're still on for the movie. Literally minutes after I arrived at the pub he sent me a message back saying he's finished work and that he's going home. I noticed his tone was a bit abrupt but I ignored it and wrote back and asked him if he wanted to meet us for a drink cause the guys were there too and it wasn't just girls... Out of nowhere he responded with this nasty message saying he didn't wanted to come and that he's flattered by my gift and the attention, that I'm a nice girl but he's really not looking for anything right now and basically see you around!!!

I was shocked and I wrote back and told him that - especially after he sent me all the flirty messages earlier that day to which he responded that he didn't want to mess me around and said we should just be friends which I told him I was fine by me.
But really how weird is that? All my friends agree he reacted to the fact that I wasn't sitting at home by the phone waiting for him, but really... it's a first date he doesn't own me!!! Apparently he has a reputation for being quite weird and having quite a temper which is clearly true so I guess I was lucky to find out sooner rather than later. It was disappointing though seeing as I went to so much trouble but them the breaks I guess!

So that's that story. I'm still glad I had the balls to put myself out there like that and make a move, even he's an asshole I would never have known unless I tried and would've regretted not trying. Not sure I'll be rushing to do it again though so it's a case of you live, you learn I guess :)

I'm back!

2007-08-15T16:13:00.000+02:00

And the first thing I'd like to talk about it the irony of this whole dating thing. I was just having a discussion (read: bitch session) with a colleague about how ironic it is that we, the female of the species are always accused of being the ones to complicate things when I know for a fact that there are plenty of like minded ladies out there who just wish things could be simple.

Eg-girl meets boy, girl likes boy, boy likes girl, they get it on and live happily ever after. But no, men have to have the chase. They have to make finding a partner into a sport that involves things like not calling when he says he will, seeing how quickly he can make it to 3rd base and most importantly he has to keep his options open which involves things like withholding affection and holding off on introducing you to his friends and the like lest *gasp* he lets the girl think that he actually likes her!

Perhaps one can blame it on Hollywood. We all saw Fatal Attraction and there are plenty of other B grade movies out there which will have us believe that all women want out of life is to trap a guy into marrying her and supporting her extended family of 30. God forbid a girl could actually just want a partner for reasons other than stalker-ish type behaviour like plain and simple companionship. I know plenty of uncomplicated women who have good careers, lead well adjusted and balanced lives and are easy on the eyes to boot. Yet they're still single. Why you ask? Because men don't know how to handle someone who doesn't play into their game.

The uncomplicated girl is the ultimate sport to men because they're always smitten at first by her carefree and uncomplicated nature in the beginning. So they pursue and woo her with vigour. He calls, sends flowers, takes you out, tell you he's never met anyone like you - ladies you know what I'm talking about! And then once he's won you over he starts subtly backing up. Now that he's got you he doesn't know what to do with you. In the girl's mind nothing's changed yet somehow it has. The spark is gone. All that passionate energy that comes with the thrill of the chase fizzles out.

Before you know it that once upbeat carefree girl has morphed into Glen Close doing the modern day equivalent of the bunny boil - she drinks and dials you after a night spent drinking copious amounts of wine with her girlfriends who all assure her 'she derserves better', 'he's an asshole', 'he has issues' all the while she's muttering almost to herself 'things were great then everything just changed...' and before you know it she's singing 'your song' on your voicemail at 3am, a shadow of the cool, calm and collected girl she used to be.

And why?

Because you men need your damn chase. Pah!

2006-09-26T14:47:00.000+02:00

The long awaited story everyone compliments of Mr. Bonez; who not only writes a good story but is useful for things such as posting on my site for me :-)
(www.quown.blogspot.com)

Enjoy!
Twinks

SNIFF, COUGH, SNIFF

2006-08-11T10:42:00.000+02:00

I have the flu!!! Argh! All I wanna do right now is go home and crawl onto my couch -I'm soooo sleepy and tired from waking up 20 times last night. Ugh. *Cough, splutter*
So tempted to lay my head down on the keyboard and catch a few z's right now!

Hope you all have a good weekend - I'll be spending mine on the couch *pout*

Twinks

MY HEAD HURTS!!!

2006-08-04T14:20:00.000+02:00

Despite the my previous happy post it's been a rough last few weeks. I started my new job 3 weeks ago now and it's gone pretty well - everyone seems very happy with how well I deliver but something that's really getting to me is how disorganised things can be around here and the lack of info that gets communicated! There are so many instances daily where I have to rely on other people to tell me what to do because the procedures and proper channels have never been explained to me and I don't think it ever will be. The culture around here is that you're basically on your own and you either have to sink or swim. Which is okay with me, it'd just be nice to know more in order to do my job better!!

Besides the work frustrations I have had two people in the last 2 weeks insult my integrity and character which I find really offensive - in the first case I was simply trying to do the right and in the 2nd I was trying to be considerate! I probably should chalk it down to them both projecting their own issues onto me but it has been hard and I have found myself questioning whether I am a good person or not - once I wouldn't care but twice is a bit unnerving!

On top of this all I overspent when I was on holiday and didn't plan properly for a few expenses so I'm in the red a bit this month which stresses me out big time! I hate the idea of not having my finances under control and I hate feeling poor! I've had to put my cat on a diet this month things are looking so rough and I've still got 15 days to go until payday! Things will be fine as soon as I get a full salary again next month but until then I think I'll have to go to the bank tomorrow and make some sort of plan...

So sorry for the whining post but rest assured things will be back to normal next week :-)

Have a good weekend! Twinks

AT LAST!

2006-07-28T16:23:00.000+02:00

Finally connected to the net at work :) Now charles you owe me a nice sordid story!
But first mine...

I slept with the ex - not the dreaded ex, the one before him who was just never vested in our relationship so it never went anywhere but we've kept in contact and he's made sure I know that he's available for sex if I should want it. So he asked me over to his place while I was on leave and he even cooked - which we all know translates into guy speak for "i want in your pants BAD", lol

We ate, we watched a movie and then we got busy on the couch before taking it to the bedroom...where I'm pretty sure I kept the neighbours awake or at least inspired them to get it on themselves I was screaming so much (I tend to scream when I haven't had my medicine in a while, lol) Between the 5 screaming sessions there wasn't much sleep - luckily I didn't have work the next day. I did however have to do the creep back home before the neighbour's kid saw me (she was on school holidays), didn't want to have to explain to a 13 year old where I'd been all night and why I'm wearing the same clothes I left in,lol

It was great to have me some good dicking again - Jack is really not lacking in that department and he knows what to do, I just have to put up with his ill timed requests for "dirty stories" or some dirty talk. Who in the heat of the moment can think about ANYTHING let alone piece together a dirty story?? I've always found it a bit odd but he seems to be getting that cause he didn't ask me as much as he used to!
I get that some people get off on dirty talk but personally I'm more of a 'doer' and less of a 'talker'.... :)

Have a good weekend all!!
Love Twinks

WILD, WILD NIGHT

2006-06-20T08:48:00.000+02:00

We just had a long weekend so I'm only able to blog now - my phone keeps bombing out on me when I try to blog on it.

Last Wednesday I went to a cheese and wine fashion show which was hosted by one of the accounts I work on. There was plenty of wine and I guess I can say that was my undoing :) We watched the show, we drank and we clapped loud and got rowdy over the hot male models, lol

Needless to say when we left we ready to take the party up a notch so we started cruising around the club area close to where I live. We were totally going to go to this place called Goochi when it happened - one of us, we still can't remember who - said "let's go to Teasers". Never one to turn down something raunchy I shouted "I'm game!" and promptly changed direction and started driving toward Teazers - all the while my buddy Sharon is having this mini freakout over whether or not she can go through with it.

After driving around aimlessly for a bit and consulting 3 different gas stations for directions we got there. I don't know what it is about alcohol and me but when I've had a few I pull off the "I'm hot and I know it and I don't give a damn what anyone thinks of me" walk extremely well, so I sashayed in there with my head held high while the other 2 girls followed in my wake.

I found us a table a bit further removed from the action and ordered a round of shooters and chasers on the double. The drinks arrived while we were busy surveying the bright surroundings and we down downed with gusto when suddenly things picked up and all the girls started doing tables dances. I physically had to lift Sharon's jaw off the table because the girl was staring like she'd just seen naked pussy for the first time in her life. I guess it was eevrything I expected because I'd been to male strip shows quite a few times when I was younger so I expected the same.

Eventually they stopped and they did a show on stage, it was funny watching this girl put lipstick on one of the guys, she then harnessed him and made him walk around on all fours. When it finished and the girls started doing table dances again I somehow managed to convince the girls that we had to have one, I mean what the point in going to a strip club and sitting around like wall flowers after all? I started pointing out a few girls when Sharon really surprised me and said they were too old and she wanted the young blonde, lol

So I amble over to the blonde and tell her we want a dance but a tasteful one - to which she replies in very broken english "I no speak english, I here one week from Eukrain!" So I say again "we want a dance but a nice one". Big mistake. We got the works. It was a bit wasted on us, I tried my best to watch her while the others sat on the other side of the table squeezing each others hands and shrinking away from her everytime she came over to them. She did the tits in the face move on me and the others laughed at how she messed up my hair making me look all sexed up. I had to marvel at how neat all these girls keep their snatches - I mean not a single hair, how does anyone manage to keep things that tidy all the time down there?

We eventually made our way home shortly after that, I spoke to one of the guys sitting at the table next to us for a bit about what brings men to strip clubs. He gave me the all bullshit answers though, I wish just once someone would answer honestly and say "because I like looking at tits and pussy" :)

So that was my night. I had a monster hang over the next day and we all swore never to tell anyone else at work and I think we learned a thing or two. I just wish I had had someone to go home to that night, it would've been really good...

2006-06-06T17:33:00.000+02:00

I got head hunted last week....by my client! Someone resigned so the marketing manager called and asked me if I was interested in filling the position - and get this, they want to pay me more to do less work! It feels too good to be true! I know it will be less work because at the moment I'm client services to 3 girls so I handle ALL their work, on the other side it'd just be one persons work! Like I said it feels too good to be true but then I tell myself it's karma for all the shit I've endured the last few months and all the long hours I've put in. The increase is 40% more than I'm earning now as well! I couldn't resist doing the math - that would mean in the last year I've managed to triple my income! Feels good and reaffirms all my glass is half full ideologys :)

The downside to all this is that I really feel like I'm ready for another relationship, hell I even made peace with the ex for real this time! But it seems to me that more and more of the 'good ones' are coupled up / married / or gay in this town. Its depressing. There is some hope however, my neighbour and I have chatted briefly twice recently and he's definitely giving me the vibe...in my mind though there's 2 kinds of men, the ones you fuck and the ones you take home to meet the parents - he falls into the latter so I'm gonna have to take it slow and probably make all the moves which proves difficult because a) we live on opposite sides of the buildings and b) 2 of my neighbours both seem to have a crush on him in that older woman kinda way, so if I do see him chances are it's with them and they monopolise him.

I may just have to catch his dog and return him to his owner the next time he comes to bark at my cat :)

2006-05-19T23:58:00.000+02:00

Ok...I may be many things but i've always been honest, well at least i have. I'm considering giving this up. Things have changed everyone seems to be moving on and i'm starting to like a hanger on who refuses to leave a club even though its closing time and all the lights are on. I'm gonna take some time. T

2006-05-14T23:05:00.000+02:00

Okay remember the stake out i mentioned a while back to see that guy who came up in my tarot reading? Well i went last week and just my luck he wasn't there. This is where u come in, i'm thinking of writing him a note. Calling would be weird because then i have to explain or try to at least who i am and why i m calling him after 5 years. At least in a note theres no awkward silence and its up to make the next move. What do u think?

WOOHOOO!!

2006-05-02T16:13:00.000+02:00

I got me some this weekend :-) I took matters into my own hands so to speak - I've been emailing one of my suppliers for about 2 weeks now and decided yesterday to send him a message saying exactly what I was after.....took him 30mins to dress and shower and haul ass to my place :-)

The only downside is he's stopped mailing me as much as he used to but that's okay because I've come to realise that just about every guy in south africa is suffering from the madonna/whore complex - either that or I just attract 'em, lol Will keep you posted, I have a feeling there'll be a repeat performance before the week is out!!

2006-04-22T23:24:00.000+02:00

Call me weird but i have this feeling that i am in the middle of some life altering change. Then
again maybe i'm just feeling overly sentimental at the moment because i've been reading too much waiterrant this weekend since discovering i can get it on my phone :-)

Let me digress a bit and start with explaining why i've been away so long. Most of you know i was feeling quite ill and thought i had a stomach ulcer, i also had severe sinus pain. Well over the last few months it has been getting progressively worse. That coupled with the pressure of my job left little time for anything else. Things finally got so bad i went to an ent specialist for my nose and had a scope of my stomach. Turns out i have bad allergies and a hiatus hernia. I also went to see i healer last week who gave me quite a few answers and i can well and truly say i believe i am on the mend.

Which brings me to my original statement, things are changing...and about fucking time! For starters once i'm finished with the detox i totally intend having a good old fashioned bender of an evening-it's been too long since i had a good girls night out on the town. The way i've been living lately you'd swear i was 62 not 26! Next on the agenda is finding myself a worthwhile shag. Now girls you know what i mean when i say getting sex is easy...but finding yourself someone who really knows how to make your toes curl is a different story. Wish me luck! Twinks

JUST MATES OR MORE???

2006-04-09T11:30:00.000+02:00

Last night I was at a barbeque at the best mate's and her boyfriends house. It was good and I had fun but I keep thinking about this one incedent. The boys pretty much treat me like one of them, I think mainly because I ended up being solo at this music festival last year and hooked up with them when I couldn't find my other friends - nothing seals a friendship like having the goods on a bloke when he's drunk and skunked outta his mind, lol

So anyway one of them - Shane has a girlfriend but he's one of the girl's guys who gets on really well with girls and can hold his own in a conversation about designers, shoes etc. We've always gotten on well but last night I felt weirded out. I ran into him in the kitchen while everyone was outside and asked how he was to which he replied "I'll be better after you give me a hug and kiss". All us girls do the hug and kiss thing with Shane, that's not odd but when I hugged him he kind smelled my hair and told me how nice I smelled. At this point it's still pretty normalish for Shane to say something like that - he's a guy notices things like that.

Later the girls are all sitting round the table and I happen to be sitting next to his gf and he comes up to talk to her and starts playfully bumping my head while she's just sitting there watching us...now I'm starting to feel like he's being over attentive especially with his girl right there. Anyhow the night progresses, we chat a bit more while everyone is standing round the barbeque but the clincher is this: as they're leaving he comes up behind me and rests his head on top of mine, I look up to see who it is and he plants a big kiss on my forehead infront of all the girls and his gf!

Am I reading too much into this or there more to this story? What do you think? Twinks

2006-04-09T11:27:00.000+02:00

Sorry it's been so long everyone! I'm finding it very difficult to do anything in my office because
we're all open plan and everyone can see what you're doing which makes it difficult to post! Hence
the reason I'm trying to set up this email blogging thing so I can post from my phone!

Hope this works...

Twinks

QUICK UPDATE....

2006-02-15T16:34:00.000+02:00

Thanks for the advice and support everyone. Things are much better this week because both my boss and my client are away.

I've had some time to think this over and more and more the idea of going alone really appeals to me - was chatting with one of the girls from the office today and she sounds just as keen as I am so you never know it could work out. In the meantime I've decided to prepare my personal finances in such a way to sustain me should the opportunity arise and I've also started investigating business finance solutions. So I guess you could say I'm quite serious about this.

Maybe all this unpleasantness was the wake up call I needed. All I know is I'm tired of working with people who do fuck all and somehow manage to earn double what I take home with half the effort. I want to know whatever work I do, I get all the benefits. I'm tired of working my ass off for other people's financial gain.

So there you have it. Anyone looking for an investment opportunity? ;-)

SIGH.....

2006-02-08T18:45:00.000+02:00

Things are just looking worse and worse at work. I work for someone who doesn't tell me exactly what she needs then shits on me when it isn't done. I've always thought of myself as a tough girl but this woman is just eating me for breakfast everyday, sometimes even lunch too!

It can't be right that I've been reduced to tears of frustration at least 3 times this week and what gets to me is I'm sitting here every night working overtime to try meet her many demands and nothing is still ever good enough. I realise people measure their expectations of your performance by the same standards they set for themselves but this is just ridiculous. I work through every lunch break, come to work early and leave late while she's out doing business lunches and leaving work on time.

Something's gotta give. I've even considered burying pride deep in pocket and asking for my old job back. I wouldn't actually do it though. I was thinking maybe I could stick it out until I've been here for 6 months then look for another job - I just worry how it will look on my CV.

Any advice? Twinks

IS THIS WHAT I REALLY WANT...?

2006-02-02T17:37:00.000+02:00

I have been toying with this idea for the last 3 weeks now. I have the 'great' job, nice place and have what some would describe as a semi 'cushy' existence, particularly being able to say that I earn a 6 figure salary.

But I can't help but wonder if this is all really worth it, if this is what I really want? I look at all my co-workers taking their hour lunch break every day, leaving on time every day, going back to their happy homes and someone who loves them.

I'm completely jealous. I'm morphing back into that girl who used to work 20 hour days for 10 days straight at the restaurant (I kid not) - she was nothing but an empty shell, I had no sense of self or pieces of a life. I was just existing....

I don't want to become that again.

2006-01-31T16:48:00.000+02:00

Anyone noticed how all my posts at the moment are about sex? lol Can't blame me, it's been ages since I had a good shag - colleague doesn't count, it was nice but not all weekend long f*ck frenzy material ;-)

Well the girls and I are going to a lap dancing evening tomorrow, will let you all know if I learn something! Still going on our 'steak out' as the girls and I have taken to calling it - to see the guy I mentioned in my last post. Hopefully this weekend, I need some excitement!

Kisses, Twinks

HELP!

2006-01-18T17:59:00.000+02:00

What is the best way to ask someone you hardly know and haven't seen in ages but he does have some idea of you are out?

Thanks for your suggestions everyone, well I should say old faithfuls cause that's the only readers this poorly updated blog has left!

So the thing with this guy is I don't have his number, haven't seen him in about 5 years and I never knew him well enough to call him up now and ask him out. My girls and I have come with a solution though - we're gonna go eat at his restaurant and well suss him out....for all I know he could be married now but I've gotta do it! I had a tarot card reading done and a tea leaf reading and he came up in both of them! He's one of those what if's in my life - I wish I hadn't been young and stupid the first time we met and had made a greater effort to get to know him. But you live, you learn I guess!

News: nothing much else to tell, now that I'm earning good money I certainly am having to work for it! But settling in nice here and enjoying my space in the new place. Will have to post some pics of my crazy cat soon - he is hilarious! And I might add he has taken to domestication full throttle, he has learned that beds were made for cats and for humans to have as little space on said bed when trying to sleep as possible (only a cat owner will relate to this one!)

Oh and I might add that I think I finally got through to the ex - I had to really spell it out to him that it's over, I hope to god that this time he's got the message! We'll see...

Hope you are all doing well?

2006-01-03T12:42:00.000+02:00

Umm...sorry all I was on leave for xmas! I hope all of you had a great festive season - I totally overindulged, ate too much, drank too much, shopped to much...what am I saying - there's no such thing! lol

Anyhow back to The Long Overdue Story: Part II.

So we got back to my place, we went through the pleasantrys of me showing him around and introducing him to my cat and then basically got straight too it. A little kissing, a little touching, some mild foreplay (me giving him instructions all the while read: higher! lower! softer! 2 fingers! fuck me! lol)

We had decent enough sex and eventually fell asleep, at some point in time however I remember being dragged out of drunk induced sleep to go for round 2. I got to sleep a tiny bit more after that before he decided he wanted coffee and breakfast - well lets just say he ended up having me - on the kitchen counter *smirk* I vaguely remember begging him to let me get my camera so I could take a pic of us having sex cause I was fascinated at being in a position where I could watch everything. I've decided sex with a tall lanky guy definitely has it's advantages - I was sitting on the counter with my feet pressed against the opposite counter and he stood infront of me enabling me to sit up and watch him sliding in and out of me.....mmmmm!

So no-one else at work knows about it which I'm really grateful for and things have been pleasanr between us, we've both taken to acting the same as before like nothing happened although I do detect a certain warmth from him that wasn't there before. Sweet guy, had it bad with his ex (the only other woman he's ever been with), they were high school sweethearts and even got engaged when she cheated on him at her hen's party! He kept telling me he'd given up on women until me (cute - somewhat nerdy guys are the best - so sweet!)

And that's the story, any questions?

THE LONG OVERDUE STORY: PART I

2005-12-21T12:34:00.000+02:00

Okay I realise I owe you all an apology - I've been gone far too long!

Without further ado though, the story:

So it was our office christmas party - very bling affair, no expenses spared. There was an open bar the entire eve and no limit to what you could have, huge trays of sushi, showgirls greeting guests upon arrival, a tarot card reader, a magician and pianist who played with his elbows and knees!

So after a good few cosmopolitans the party and me were in full swing - I was flirting up a storm and really enjoying myself. Enventually the party wound down at about 3am at which time a lot people wanted to move on, one of the guys I work with was completely smashed though so I offered to drive him home and one of my colleagues offered to keep me company. So we're driving along and Malcolm the drunk one decides he needs to hurl at which point I made my move on Alex! We eventually dropped Malcolm off and made out furiously outside his house. After a good 15 mins I suggested we make our way to my place, to which he agreed.....

To be continued, I have to go home now! Part II next week!

Have a great xmas everyone! Mwwaaahhhh! Love Twinks

2005-12-09T14:00:00.000+02:00

Sshhhh.....don't tell anyone I went home with one of my colleagues after our xmas party last night...... drought over ;)

2005-12-05T12:51:00.000+02:00

I AM IN SERIOUS NEED OF A GOOD FUCKING...I DON'T WANT TO MAKE LOVE, OR CUDDLE, OR GET TO KNOW SOMEONE I JUST WANT A GOOD FUCK.....

ANY SUGGESTIONS?

UMMMM...

2005-11-28T18:08:00.000+02:00

Okay, when I said I owe you a delicious sex story I didn't mean I had one to tell you...sorry to disappoint - I said I was working on it. It's been faaarrrr too long since I had a good rooting so I guess you could say I'm on the prowl ;)

Nothing much else to report, working like a dog, eat, sleep, feed the cat and do it again the next day and that's pretty much my life at the moment - gone on the days when I could sit and read your blogs all day :(

So seeing as I can't come to you to find out what's going on in your lives - what's new?

MISS YOU!

2005-11-23T17:15:00.000+02:00

It's so nice to know you're all still there - I contemplated ending my blog because it's just so busy at the new job I seldom have the time these days, hence I'm sitting here after hours today, but I'm not ready to give up yet!

Thanks for the comments everyone - I owe you a delicious sex story soon...I'm working on it ;)

Hugs, Twinks xxx

GREETINGS!!!!

2005-11-16T09:20:00.000+02:00

Well finally have a moment to myself here and a break in my work. Things are going well, work is awesome - I work for the most relaxed company in Durban! Really, we can take a break anytime we want, help ourselves to drinks anytime (hard stuff after hours) and we have pool table in the middle of the office!

Life on the homefront is good too, enjoying my little flat and I have acquired a cat - poor little was abandoned by someone who used to live there before. Am kept busy trying to sort everything out, although even though its nice being on my own it does get a bit lonely so I am going to make more of an effort to get out even if its just for a walk! The only disturbing thing is one of my neighbors wakes me up every morning with this seriously bad coughing - it's so bad it sounds like he's vomitting, I've started slamming my bathroom door even time he does it but he hasn't seemed to get the hint yet!

Enough about me though, how are you?

2005-11-02T14:53:00.000+02:00

I need to get laid and properly this time...I feel like an Ethopian on a diet lately!

Anyone know if there is there a sex god you can pray to? ;)

2005-10-31T09:40:00.000+02:00

Happy halloween everyone! Hope you all have a good one! We had our party on Saturday evening for my little bro and sis and their friends. We do a halloween feast every year with games and a 'scary movie'. The best part had to be the "fear factor" challenge that I put together - I made a big bowl of green jello and filled it with plastic bugs and sour worm candies and they had to get 3 worms out using their mouth with their hands tied behind their backs, after that they had to pop 2 balloons without using their hands...it was a good laugh!

I wrote my first exam on Friday which was a subject I was repeating and I'm glad to say it went well...well I passed at least! Yesterday I went over to the new flat and moved a few things in, it looks so much better without all the clutter that was in there when I looked at it before and I am really grateful that I found it, it really it a great little place! Hopefully can post some pics soon once all my things are in :)

2005-10-25T08:26:00.000+02:00

Thanks to Kim for reminding me that no...I didn't get lucky on Friday night. I did however have an awesome time! Drinks and food were on the house all night! I also ran into a few people I haven't seen in a long time and I got to spend some time with my former partner in crime T - she is such a doll.

But my bigger news is that I found a place to stay! Yippee - it's a 10 min drive to work and in a very trendy central area, close to the mall and craft markets etc. I move in on the 1st Nov, so much happening at once! Exams, changing work, moving house...now I just need to get laid and everything will be perfect! ;)

2005-10-21T15:20:00.000+02:00

To all of you out there; have a great weekend!! I'm off to the restaurant launch of some friends tonight...if I get lucky you'll hear all about it on Monday ;)

~Love Twinks~

DOES IT EVER HAPPEN TO YOU?

2005-10-18T16:24:00.000+02:00

Lately things to blog about keep coming to mind and as soon as I'm sitting here I forget everything I had thought about! One night I even made notes in my cell phone but couldn't understand what they meant the next day - that's what happens when you have one drink too many I guess!

Anyhow, work is super busy at the moment - every day someone stops by to ask me to 'just do this before you leave'. I think I might have to start giving out numbers by the end of the week,lol Yesterday they asked me what it would take to make me stay...I told them it wasn't just about money that for me to ever get a promotion I'd have to wait another 10 years for my manager to retire, then I told them how much I'd be earning at the new job and they changed the subject (hahahehe - I think they were going to offer me what I had asked for that time ago!)

Have a great evening all oh and the pic is wishful thinking - there is zero activity going on in the romance and sex department at the moment, fingers crossed that this Mr. Right comes along soon!

HMMMMM....

2005-10-14T16:01:00.000+02:00

I don't have much to say - it's been a long hard week and I've been up since 5 this morning and I'm not much of a morning person. I have plenty I have to do before I leave so I will be kept busy over the next few weeks and even more so once I start my job I imagine. In short I apologise now for posting less and not visiting you as much!

Have a great weekend everyone~~kisses~~Twinks xx

CHANGE OF ADDRESS

2005-10-12T10:02:00.000+02:00

So as most of you know I changed my address because someone I know found me out! It was my best intentions that caught me out - I had a link to my best friend's boyfriend's band and thats how he found me.

I was pretty freaked out about it because he made reference to a story in my archives which obviously meant he had been reading through them! *blush* There's some things you really don't want your friend's boyfriend knowing about you!!! He also found what I wrote about snooping around their house when I house-sat for them....lucky for me I have cool understanding friends and they didn't mind! I was really embarrassed though and overreacted a bit - they sent me a message last night saying they were out to dinner and having a good laugh at my expense! With friends like them....I'm glad they're not my enemies :)

Ah well I suppose they will let me get over this one in about 5 or 10 years!

YAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!

2005-10-07T14:37:00.000+02:00

GOT

THE

JOB

and I almost doubled my salary...life is grand!

WOOOHOOOO!!!

Drinks are on me tonight - wish you were here!

Have a great weekend everyone ~ Twinks

HOW DO YOU RECOGNISE A LOSER?

2005-10-06T16:47:00.000+02:00

This means that I am a major loser because my cat always ends up with more bedspace than I do! Have a great evening all and sorry I haven't had time to visit you all, work has been hectic this week! Kisses ~ Twinks

2005-09-30T16:05:00.000+02:00

So I had my palm read by a friend at work on Wednesday and was told that I will be out of my job and onto something better within the next 4 months and get this: that I will be married before my 26th year is up!!! He even took a bet with me that he is right about because my response was "yeah right!"

Time will tell I guess but maybe he was right about the job scenario - I got a call to come back for a second interview at the job I want to get today so things are looking up! YAY!

Nothing much else going on so I'll be off now - have a great weekend all! Love Twinks x

WHY MEN ARE HAPPIER...

2005-09-29T13:15:00.000+02:00

Men Are Just Happier People--What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a whiteT-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

Things we've learnt from the movies....

2005-09-27T16:42:00.000+02:00

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people whether they are employed or not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. Youwill always choose the right one.
4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fussion at the age of 22.
8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems,deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
11. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
12. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
13. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
14. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off, even while scuba diving.
15. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
16. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer,it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accentwill do. (It used to be an English accent for the German.)
17. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
18. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
19.If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
20. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
21. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now. 22. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
23. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
24. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
25. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
26. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
27. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

2005-09-26T16:42:00.000+02:00

This picture is my profile pic for good reason which brings me straight to my point. Take one caffeine addict (moi), give her a stomach ulcer, tell her she can't have coffee, alcohol or any soft drinks and what you get is someone living on a ultra fine line between sanity and someone who wants to go on a shooting spree.

If I had a gun; it'd already be loaded.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

I know I am....

LE SECRET

2005-09-22T15:35:00.000+02:00

I found the link to this site on Alice's blog called PostSecret - you send them a secret on a postcard and they put it on the site, check it out! Also visit the defunktion gallery!

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

http://www.defunktion.net/exhibitions/postsecret/gallery/index.html

After reading these the first secret that came to mind was that at the end of my relationship with my ex I used to wish that I had met his brother first instead of him.....

OHHHHHH....

2005-09-21T16:25:00.000+02:00

Not that O!!!! I mean the 'oh-now I get it' oh. IT guy and I were having a cosy chat this morning when he threw a nice curve ball into the conversation - he has a son. Things all fell into place right there and then in my mind...that explains what his deal his - 2 failed engagements and a kid is quite a bit of baggage, no wonder the guy hasn't overtly asked me out or made a move! For some reason I'm not that concerned about it or him though I guess at the moment my main concern is sorting my studies and finances out!

In other news things overall seem to be on an upswing at work and some things are starting to fall into place - I got some good feedback about the job interview I went to now I'm just waiting to hear when the MD is free to meet me!!! *fingers crossed*

Have a great evening all! ~Twinks

2005-09-19T12:25:00.000+02:00

Well things chez Twinks are all somewhat back to normal. I am glad to say that I am almost 100% recovered but somehow my problems seem to have been replaced with whole new set. Murphy's Law I guess...I wish this guy Murphy would give it up and croak already!

But I digress...what with the wedding and me being sick I have come to realise that I have been: a) seriously neglecting my finances and b) seriously neglecting my studies which forces me to conclude that c) I am seriously fucked!!!

Sigh...I have a huge pile of bills, statements, credit card slips etc to work through and record in my budget today and the ever present fear hanging over my head that I won't be able to catch up on my studies - I find myself in this constant state of limbo of either trying to convince myself I can do it or else trying to think of ways to get out of writing exams this semester!

FROM BAD TO WORSE!!

2005-09-15T09:03:00.000+02:00

Eish. As if having an ulcer gnawing away at my insides wasn't bad enough, yesterday I tried to go out at lunch time and my car wouldn't start. Shit. Called my sister's boyfriend, he comes to have a look after work. He pops the hood and I hear a muffled "oh no". That is never a good sign... I had to leave it at work last night and will have to borrow the company car to go out at lunch today to find a new 'base plate' whatever the hell that is. I still haven't heard about the job interview I went to that I really wanted, I'm hoping some good news is coming my way - surely karma owes me a good turn after all this!

I'M BACK!!

2005-09-14T11:02:00.000+02:00

So it turns out doctor #1 overdosed me with cortisone and as a result I developed a stomach ulcer. So now I'm knocking back heartburn medicine like a 40 year old and I'm doped up on anti-histamines for my intial bout of sinusitis. I'm not a very happy version of Twinks at the moment, I still feel sick and regret that I dragged my ass into work for this unappeciative lot. I mean, I have a frikkin stomach ulcer you would think that people would not be so demanding on the day of my return to work when I should have taken the whole week off - instead I find a nice long "do this urgently" list waiting for me in my office.

Well thanks, nice to know you care and ps. fuck you too assholes! My sister and I are going to the store now so I can buy myself a liquid lunch so I'll quit my whining now. Later, Twinks

UPDATE

2005-09-12T08:58:00.000+02:00

The wedding is over at last and despite the fact that a few family members almost drove me mad, all in all it went pretty well.

I have been and still am feeling sick and 2 trips to the doctor later I am convinced my doctor has a degree in bullshit and golf and little else. I am going to see another doctor today, after looking up my symptoms on the net I think I maybe have glandular fever so will have to have a blood test.

Hope things are going well for the rest of you, hopefully things will be back to normal in Twinksland by the end of the week.

2005-09-05T16:45:00.000+02:00

You will have to forgive my lack of any worthwhile posts this week, my sister has done to me what I suspected would happen all along despite my best efforts; I have become Twinkelstar: Wedding Coordinator Extraordinaire because she wanted to horde control of the wedding and has now realised 5 days before the wedding that there's a shitload she hasn't done and has left it to me to sort out for her while she's tripping on her tranquilizers.

If I'm not Princess Prozac by the end of this week I will be very proud. Feel free to speculate amongst yourselves whether I will come out of this ordeal sane or not.

THIS IS SO ME!!

2005-09-02T16:32:00.000+02:00

Whilst reading before I went to bed last night I came across this magazine article about star signs. Now I don't usually place too much stock in these thinks although I enjoy it as a fun read, but I couldn't help but notice that these traits were surprisingly accurate and seeing as I've been under the weather with a sinus infection I have no real interesting material for you today ;)

Pisces Key Personality Traits

Strengths - Tolerance, empathy, perception (I can read minds too)

Weaknesses - gullibility, lack of focus, lack of assertiveness (maybe...)

Sexiest Attribute - Your psychic passion gives you the ability to guess what your guy wants in the sack so he never has to ask (smirk)

Guilty Pleasure - channel surfing for hours. Having hundreds of options fascinates you (it does!)

Pet Peeve - People who hold grudges; you forgive and forget and don'tsee the point in dredging up the past (hell yeah!)

Your Biggest Challenge - Instilling discipline in your fun-seeking philosophy of life....I'll admit to this, I have an inner Peter Pan but don't we all or is it just me and Michael Jackson?

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE!!! KISSES, TWINKS xx

EX BOYFRIEND UPDATE

2005-09-01T16:44:00.000+02:00

Sorry to have left this for so long, I've been pretty miserable with my sinus infection which I believe I got from my cat because I blew my nose this morning and cat hair came out! (lol-perhaps that was a bit graphic?)

Anyway the ex sent me a message on Monday asking me why I told him we were just too different, to which I responded that while I am capable of loving and accepting a person for who they are he just was not (he always wanted to change me while we were together). I also pointed out to him that I happen to know him turning 30 is only 2 years away and he has this "thing" about being married by 30 and is probably getting panicky.

He tried to convince me he has changed, he's not the person he used to be and all the usual cliches but I really am not interested in going there again with him. I don't believe this story about him changing, people rarely do. I finally lied and said that I'm seeing someone else and I never heard back from him. Somehow though I don't think it will be long before he's knocking on my door again....dumb bastard.

I AM AN IDIOT!!.....ID-I-OT!

2005-08-30T13:15:00.000+02:00

Forget what game am I playing - I'm not even in the game after the way I behaved this morning! I am such an idiot! IT guy was here today, haven’t seen him in ages – had pretty much forgotten all about him when all of a sudden he walks into my office while I’m on the phone with my mother, getting more embarrassed by the second as he stands there smiling at while I'm having the "yes mom", "okay mom", "I will mom, "I have to go mom", "I love you too mom", conversation....

...I finally finish and almost instantly I can feel the spark is still there- but do I do anything about it, no of course not – instead I’m falling all over myself like the village idiot. Cool calm collected Twinks is out the window to be replaced by pathetic coy, clumsy, silly 15 year old version of former self. I even managed to break the vase in my office amidst it all!

Charles I know you’re rooting for IT guy perhaps you could send me a killer virus so I have to call him in again? Please? Pretty puh-lease!!

THE EX RISES AGAIN

2005-08-29T10:15:00.000+02:00

Oh dear God it happened again. Guess who misses me? Guess who wishes things were different? Guess who still loves me? Yeah, the ex has surfaced again. While I admit that at first I kinda enjoyed having him come crawling back to me the novelty has just worn off now. He sent me a message yesterday saying all the above to which I responded in the nicest way possible that it's just never gonna happen. So he replies and asks me if he can call me later 'just to talk', not to reconcile he just needs someone to talk to. Fine I reply, thinking I'll listen and then I'll tell him in my most convincing bitch made of steel voice that it's o-v-e-r and always will be.

Later comes and I get another text message saying he's too scared to speak to me and that he loves me..... if he lived in the same town as me I would consider taking out a restraining order against him because I'm starting to worry that he's a bit obsessed. We broke up a year ago you would think he would've moved on by now. I think I may have to employ some ruthless tactics and tell him that I've been with someone else since him, it would drive him crazy and hopefully it will destroy his hopes of us getting back together. I just hope it doesn't backfire on me!

FENDER BENDER

2005-08-26T09:10:00.000+02:00

Great start to the day. I was rear ended on the way to work and there wasn't even any cuddling or foreplay involved. Driving through traffic in this country almost makes me religious because there's nothing else you can do but pray that you make it through the ordeal alive.

This morning I changed lanes only to have some creep try and squeeze in behind me when there was clearly not enough space. I had to brake suddenly, he slammed on breaks and the woman behind him rear ended him causing him to rear end me. My baby is now sporting red streaks where my white bumper used to be :(

Oh well the day can only get better....right? Right? RIGHT!?! I need a drink *whimper*